Treats for Peace

I am one of those people that thinks a parent should act like a parent not their kids' friend. (At least not until they are grown.) Kids have plenty of friends & they need the structure & stability of a parent in their lives. It just makes my skin crawl to see parents trying to be buddy buddy with the kiddos for whatever reason. I also despise when people bribe their kids. Therefore, this admission is going to make me sound like such a hypocrite....

Hi, my name is Mama, & when my husband, a.k.a. Daddy, has to work late or be gone overnight I buy off my kids with goodies & extra T.V. & other "privileges" to receive some sanity. Yes, I even go so far as to try to be the "cool/fun/good" parent sometimes if he's gone for an extended period. No, I'm trying to make Daddy look mean or like a stick in the mud, but......

After being a mom for over a decade, I have finally admitted the fact that I do this to myself (I did this a few years ago) & to my husband (just recently). Tonight for instance, hubby is gone late, guess what the kids had for dinner? Pizza & whole carrots. Many times I let them opt out of a vegetable on nights he's gone. I may let them have popcorn & coke & sit in the living room & watch a movie during dinner. All of these things occur rarely when he's home. And it's not like I'm going against his rules or anything. I'm the one that says they always have to have vegetables at dinner & there's no food allowed in the living room & we don't watch T.V. during dinner. So, in all essence they are my rules to break right? It's not like he's keeping me on the straight & narrow either. It's more like, being at home with them 24/7/365, taking on their education as well as their basic needs means I need a break & when he comes home after work that's my saving sanity time. When I don't get that time, I have to find it somewhere or we are all miserable. So, there's an unspoken contract between me & the boys, you let me be & you might not get green beans at dinner. Give me some space & maybe you can stay up & play a little longer. It feels sort of like a sneaky, backroom, under-the-table exchange, but sometimes in the game of parenting all's fair, right? So I'll see your episode of Star Wars & raise you 30 minutes of quiet time & I'll go thank my lucky stars I'm not a single mom & pray for all that are.